SWW

• So what that I haven't written for SWW in like 2 or 3 weeks, I get tired and Wednesday nights seem to be the butt end of my exhaustion.  I'm sorry to my readers that I left you missing out.
• So what that I just "happened" to forget to give Bentley his pacifier tonight.  He was supper tired, went right to bed, didn't even reach for it, so why remind him.  He was sleeping about 15 seconds minutes later.  I'll be anxious to see if he wakes up during the night.  If he doesn't, this may be the end of the binky my friends!!!!  
• So what that I picked up a part time job for fun.  In hind sight I didn't think I was busy enough for me, I wanted to be able to get out more and do things I enjoy.  Working with families and children mark high on that list.  Now that I have it, I feel like I don't have enough time for it all.  Oh well you can't win them all.  Things will eventually work out so I can have an even balance.  
• So what I had to drive to work this morning in this cruddy snow for a work meeting, when last Friday they canceled the meeting before the snow started to even fall!!!  Once again the news prove they can control people.  When they tell you to freak out and get ready for "BIG" snow, everyone does.  But when the "BIG" snow ACTUALLY hits without warning, people carry on like no big deal.  I don't get it.
• So what that I try to keep in touch with my friends as often as I can try.  Even if its not very often, I still want to try to keep something in place so those friendships don't sizzle out and die.  I've lost to many a good friends by not keeping up with things.  I can't afford to loose the ones I have left. 
• So what that my son has begun learning to use object as step stools and now gets into EVERYTHING.  He can reach things that he did not used to be able to and now nothing is safe in our home.  Time to reorganize, AGAIN.
• So what I'm going to be 21....30 in March!!!  It's been a great 30 years, but man that just sounds old!  I'm happy where God has lead me to in life.  I can't complain, I have a great family, wonderful husband, and the best son a mom could ask for.  I have a job that can allow me to get food on the table and shelter to keep me warm in these cold months.  30 years of experience for when my son is old enough to understand.  
• So what that I'm falling asleep and loosing my concentration while I write this post.  I think it's the weather playing tricks on me.  I've just been extra tired lately, NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!! (Just in case anyone planted a seed in their head)

Well that's all for tonight folks.  Hope you have a great day and for my Iowa fans stay warm and drive safe! 

Question 4 - 16 year old Self

Wow, Name 10 things I would tell my 16 year old self!  13 years ago I would have been in 10th grade I believe.

1. No one here (in school, in clubs, on teams, etc.) will matter to you in 10 years so don't sweat them now.  If they don't like you move on.  If you argue with them shrug them off.  You are your own person and life does move forward.  
2. Don't waist your time trying to better yourself for anyone else.  For yourself maybe, but if you are trying to change to impress someone, move on.  Give up on that dream because it's not worth it.  Chances are that one person your trying to change for, won't be around in 5 years anyway. 
3. Study hard and really concentrate on what you are learning in class.  You may not need the knowledge in your career or future but the topics will come up and being able to be apart of that conversation will be worth it.  
4. Learn fashion, maybe not high end fashion, but learn enough so that you don't become comfortable in sweatpants and sweatshirts.  It just hides the you your trying to be and then the lack of caring about what you looks like turns into poor self confidence.  Take pride in your looks and show them off damn it! 
5. Be friends with everyone!  See number one, chances are slim that you will see these people life long so why not be nice and leave imprints.  One day they will be able to look back and have a good memory and that memory just may be about you! 
6. One day you will meet the man of your dreams, don't rush it!  Relax, enjoy life.  Don't spend all your time worrying about one guy or the next.  Let love happen and enjoy it when it does. 
7. Your mom is right, just deal with it!  Accept it and move on.  One day you'll be just like her there's just no getting around it.  DEAL WITH IT! 
8. Make memories now, enjoy life now!  Make books about friends and remember the times you spent with them.  Those times will quickly be replaced with responsibility, children, family, heartache, and stress.  NO matter how hard you try these things will creep up on you and become apart of your daily life.  Embrace the freedom now! 
9. You are great just as you are.  Stay spunky and witty, smile often and laugh.  Don't stress about the "mean girls" and definitely do not  trust that they know anything about you and your life.  They can not give you any advice that's worth anything to you.  Stick with your own advice and listen to what your mother and close friends have to say about you. 
10. You will grown up and do wonderful things with your life!!!!! 

I'd be curious as to what my fellow bloggers would say to themselves at age 16~!!!!!  Come on join with me just for this one question for sure!!  Don't forget to leave me a comment so I can read them! 

Question 3 - Relationship with Parents

My relationship with my parents is very close.  Some might say that we have a secure bond in that its a healthy connection between child and parents.  Some may say that we are too interconnected and entangled into each others lives.  I really don't care what "some people" say honestly.  I feel that we have a good healthy loving relationship.  

Growing up my mother was my best friend.  I told her everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.  Some children might cringe at the idea of the things I would tell my mom but I found that I was comfortable talking to her, sometimes maybe to comfortable.  Like the fact that I could not lie to my mom.  NO matter what I tried, I always ended up telling her the truth because I knew that's what I was suppose to do.  Call it the fear of the mother or just plain open honest communication between a mother and her child.  Sometimes I feel that having this close of a relationship caused many unnecessary arguments or fights, even as a grown adult we often argue about things we do not agree on.  Rather we should embrace the idea that we each have our own thoughts.  I love my mother and she would do anything for me and my sister.  She is our rock and definitely our provider.

My Step dad is pretty much the most amazing person on this planet.  He met my mom when my sister and I were rather young, I was about 5, Angie was 10.  It's hard enough for two people to find each other after both have gone through divorces and children but it's even harder to find someone who will pick up with things left off (so to speak).  Regan accepted us both right from the start, never ask questions and from what I remember without any struggles (for the most part).  He support my sister and I in all that we did and did so like we were his own flesh and blood.  It take a strong person to step in like he did and I really appreciate him for that.  In my eyes, there no step about him, he is in deed my FATHER, my daddy, and will always be.  

With that said, I don't have much to say about my biological father, my sperm donor as I call him.  Never really had a relationship with him that I can remember and haven't really ever wanted one in my adult years.  Probably steamed from the lack of acceptance to my willingness as a child so I just lost interest. 

All in all I love my parents and am very happy with how my life has been and will be.  I do rely on my parents because I know they will take care of me in need.  After all, that's what parents are for.  I just hope that I am able to repay the favor for them some day in just the way they have done for me.  With caring and acceptance!!!            

SWW

• So what that I haven't showered since Sunday afternoon!  The only thing I've done in two days is take B to his tumbling on Monday night, Sad I know!!!   I'm also in the same clothes I wore on Monday.  Ugh No motivation or will power! 
• So what that my child is spoiled even though his birthday is two months away.  Daddy and his grandparents love him!   Curt went shopping without me this weekend, scary scary thing! 
• So what that I feel like eating everything in this house, talk about some major PMS cravings.  BTW there just isn't anything good to eat here!  I NEED MORE!   
• So what that my husband didn't go to work today and he's in bed sleeping.  He got up and shoveled this  morning, basically for nothing!   Darn wind! 
• So what that my son was playing with his pop tart this morning like it was a car, call it boring breakfast food!  I wish I could think of more but he doesn't like eggs, and pancakes take to long, unless I get frozen ones, but then he smells like syrup the rest of the day, YUCK!
• So what that I just said I was going to start starving myself so I can look good for the weeding I'm going to be in in Oct.  I'm so happy for my friend Amy!!!!  
• So what that I'd rather sit back and watch my child interact with his toys than get in there and lead him in play.  I just wish I could make out what he is trying to say because it sounds too cute!  I think he's trying to count them, he sooo smart.  
• So what I played Just Dance on the Wii last night and only made it through two songs before getting winded and sweating to death, I'm out of shape okay!?! 

I hope all are having a wonderful week and just be glad today is hump day.  The week is almost over for you all!  

Day late and a dollar short.....Friday Faves

1. Mother-In-Laws homemade noodles.  She made dinner for us on Monday night and it was AWWWmazing.  My hips love them too, since I've been eating them everyday for a week I'm pretty sure I've gain weight because of them but they are delicious. 
2. Family!  We had our yearly VanHoosen family get together (Christmas in January) at the hotel on Sat. night.  I had the night off from work and it was worth it.  There's nothing like getting a bunch of loved ones all in one place.  The adults all played the Newlywed Game and it was pretty interesting! 
3. Cuddles!!!  Bentley had a couple of time this week where he just wanted to cuddle with his mommy!  I love when he gets in these moods.  Sometimes I must admit I have to remind myself how much when I'm in the middle of doing things but he helps me keep my priorities straight that's for sure.  
4. Sleep, right about now I'm thinking I might not have gotten enough of it this week but I love sleep! 
5. Paychecks!  So I can go shopping and save money on my gas card! 

SWW

• So what I'm a little behind with getting this posted, I've been busy all day with two children and didn't have the ability to type without tiny little hands all over the key board! 
• So what we just bought milk at the gas station, we might of paid more, but not as much as if we would have actually went into Hy-Vee because, oh those cookies look good , and oh we need bread, and oh yea I forgot we need juice!  In the end we saved more.
• So what I practically shoved my son into a 2x4 at tiny tots causing him to get a welt across his forehead on Monday.  It's hard to teach him to bear crawl up that thing!!!  It went away by the time we left I might add!
• So what that I refuse to go to the doctor now that we have new health care through my work.  We are on a health savings plan and have a health savings account and we will have to pay entirely to much for me to go over some silly sore throat (which,so want it might be strep?) ((i know i know if it gets any worse I'll go))
• So what that my day yet again affirmed that I'm not ready to have two children in the Heck household.  Bentley was too jealous today and I couldn't handle it.  Maybe I just need to rent a few kids out a little at a time to teach Bentley to share, Sabrina? Chelsea? Lacey? I'm sure you're all takers LOL 
• So what that my son loves pickles he'd prolly eat them at every meal, I sure did when I was pregnant with him!  Makes total sense.  
• \So what my Husband had to go back to paying for a hair cut and he likes to get his haircut very regularly.  Something to add to our budget I guess.  Thank god for short hair, he can get his done for $10.  When I go, I need to get it highlighted, dried, and styled and I can't walk out without spending $100 or more! 

Thanks again for tuning in for my weekly rant of SO WHATS!!!  Have a great NIGHT!!!!!!!

Question 2

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.


One of my biggest fears lately is having more than one child. Separating my time between the two, making sure they get enough attention, having them get along with out completely hating each other when they grow up, finding time to still be a couple (which is hard enough with just one child). I guess I want to elaborate on that one a little because it might be the biggest factor. I feel strained enough to balance time spent with my son, my husband, myself, and my job. I don't feel there is enough of either of those and I just can't think about it if you were to add one more person to that mix. My husband and I struggle right now with spending time together alone, the two of us, other than after Bentley goes to bed, which in turn makes it time for me to go to bed, most of the time. We've said that we were going to set aside a night a week, then it went to a month, to hardly ever. Money being the main factor it to that, which is another fear of having another child. UGH see what I mean, I'm stressed out just typing all this.


Another fear of mine is dying with out family around. This is a key reason why I'm still in Newton around my family and have not moved away. Now I realize that if I'm lucky enough I won't have to worry because all members of my family will live their healthy happy lives and pass when it's perfectly their time to go, but I'm afraid of my early death where family is still around. Oh boy, it just sounds confusing, but I hope you get the idea! I don't want to do days of already being gone until someone finds me or figures out I'm not around! (make sense?)


Thunderstorms, no really! In total seriousness when the weather gets so bad that the news starts talking about warnings and going to basements and such, I start flipping out. I'm 95% better than I used to be when I was younger, in fact up till I went to college, but they scare me. There's too much excitement surrounding them and it gets me worked up. When we were younger (my sister and I) we were with my cousin while my mom was out for the evening. All I remember is being at my cousins grandmother's house and her house had caught on fire from lighting and she would not leave her house. We have to get her out and there were sirens and fire trucks, way too traumatizing for a 5 year old. That's all I have to say. Now as traumatizing as my story is, the full details that I remember are not quite remembered by all parties so I must admit I'm not sure if my little mind exaggerated things such as remembering another tree close to us getting struck by lighting while we were standing outside, which no one else remembers, so with that said it started my fear of thunderstorms. Like major ones, I'm okay with little rumble storms, now! LOL